You Make Me Rethink Being Born
by AsianOne
Summary: [AU] Haruno Sakura isn't having what you would call a good day. Not even close, in fact. And it only gets worse when on the planned date of the big road trip she has to ride with the...delinquents. [KibaSaku][NejiSaku][GaaSaku][SasuSaku]
1. The best thing to happen to us EVER

**You make me rethink being born**

ASIANONE SAYS: This is what happens when my brother and me are bored. While other 17-year-olds are looking at porn he's writing fanfiction with his little sister. Another thing, English isn't my brother's first language so he's not all that great on grammar and stuff so I have to do the editing because not only is he threatening to kill me, English is my first language, so I'm a bit better at that sort of thing. However, my grammar is not much better so I'm practically begging the grammar police to come to my house and start beating me with the side of a car door so if you see any HORRIBLE errors PLEASE TELL ME. Also, if ANYTHING and ANYTHING at all bugs you in this story, I'M SORRY!! I don't mean to offend. It's purely unintentional- this story is the product of our boredom. Enjoy the story below.

--

On Saturday it rained.

Haruno Sakura sighed and looked glumly outside of the raindrop-streaked window of the car, yesterday was the longest day of her life and she had a feeling that today it would be even longer and the rain just confirmed that fact even more so.

You know how you sometimes have a bad day?

A certain human being of the male gender that you've been pining over comes out of the closet?

Fail a test that everyone, including the morons, thought was easy?

Looking really forward to something only to find out that it sucks?

International math day?

Well, that was exactly the kind of day Sakura had. Except maybe it was a little worse than international math day (yes, it's possible).

Kind of like how single people feel on Valentine's Day and every insanely romantic song seems to pour out of the sky in to their unsuspecting ears.

Yes, that's exactly how she felt- suicidal-jumping-out-of-a-building-ravaging-mad. She was almost in the kill-someone-or-hold-up-a-school anger zone but that's a level of hatred that she reserves for whenever she watches RENT while doing algebra.

But don't get me wrong; she isn't some crazy suicidal homicidal anti-math maniac. You can ask any of her friends- she's a happy and outgoing person (still unapologetically anti-math, however), but aggressive? Yeah, right. Not Haruno Sakura. Never Haruno Sakura. Sarcastic maybe. But aggressive? No. Not Sakura.

But then again, looks can be deceiving.

--Friday morning--

"Sakura are you up yet?" her mother called from the doorway.

Sakura moaned into her pillow before tearing it from her bed and throwing it across the room. Then, pouting, she sat up in my bed, her feet hanging just above the ground, and locked herself into her routine daze of an internal struggle.

"Yeah" she answered sleepily, pushing on some jeans and a t-shirt.

"Are you packed for the field trip?"

"Yes," Sakura rolled her eyes, picking up her packed suitcase.

Her mother nodded, "good," she sighed in relief, "have fun, okay?"

Sakura nodded her head, zipping up her hoodie.

"But no drugs," he mother warned.

"Mom!"

"And no skipping class to have sex! I don't care how much you're getting paid!"

"I'm leaving," Sakura muttered to no one in particular, taking her suitcase, waving goodbye to her mother, not bothering to turn around.

"I mean it, Sakura! Just because all the popular kids are contracting AIDS it does NOT make it cool!"

"Love you too!" Sakura shouted, jogging slightly, hoping that if some random onlooker who might have overheard the conversation would mistake it for a normal mother-daughter interaction.

"Seriously, Mrs. Haruno, you can't disturb teenagers anymore" Mrs. Esaki, the elderly woman who lived next door said, "yeah, those high schoolers, " she shook her head sadly, "They have guns now,"

Mrs. Haruno chuckled, "Nice,"

--At school--

"Sakura!" Ino called to her.

Sakura waved to her blonde friend.

The complete stereotype of a blonde from the bubbly-girl-next-door attitude to the choice of attire-a baby blue shirt with pink writing on it that was practically screaming "Here's ten bucks now buy yourself some originality, you whore!"

Yes, this was her best friend.

"Are you ready?!" the blonde girl cried, tackling Sakura to the ground in enthusiasm.

"I guess,"

"I GUESS?! SAKURA WHAT ARE YOU ON?! This is only like the BIGGEST THING TO HAPPEN TO US EVER!!"

"It's only a field trip," Sakura added in a motherly tone, finger-combing her short pink locks.

"Correction," Ten-Ten said, appearing next to Ino, dragging a huge red suitcase behind her, "it's a road trip," she stopped pulling her suitcase along, "and also THE BIGGEST THING TO HAPPEN TO US EVER!!"

"Maybe we'll even get to ride on the same bus!!" Ino and Ten-Ten squealed.

Sakura rolled her eyes, "I'm going to the bathroom,"

"But if we don't ride on the same bus we can like text each other and meet up at the rest stops, slut!" Ino screamed, hugging Ten-Ten.

"You, whore! That's a kickass idea!" Ten-Ten screamed, hugging Ino back, "Yeah! And then when my phone dies I can use Hinata's phone 'cause I mean it's not like she talks on it. Or even talks, really"

Sakura sighed. There was many a time when she wondered why she hung out with these…monsters and coincidentally this happened to be one of those times.

Without a word she slipped away from the two giggling girls and to the bathroom.

--

Sakura surveyed the bathroom skeptically.

Restrooms are places of business.

While for some that business involves a Cosmo magazine a few moments alone, you wander into a public bathroom in Konoha high school and suddenly that business involves another person and a few XL condoms.

Sakura had been fortunate enough to splash water on her face and quickly stroll out without getting raped. But she was lost. Hopelessly lost.

It's frigging impossible to find your way around here, Sakura thought, turning the corner. If I'm walking in a circle, this is a fucking big circle! She gritted her teeth as she saw a very familiar looking pillar for the fifth consecutive time, Dammit! Why can't this school afford different looking pillars?!

Although Sakura was losing patience and confused she would never allow herself to be scared. But if there was a dog involved, well then that was an entirely different story.

Behind one of the pillars that so innocently surrounded the sidewalk sprung a small dog that began snapping at my legs. Sakura jumped around it, trying not to step on it as it tried to latch onto her pants. Giving up she began to run off down the sidewalk, the miniscule dog chasing after her.

With a sudden blunt force Sakura ran into a person who had been standing on the sidewalk. The dog ran up beside her, hopped onto her stomach, and began to eagerly lick her face as she lay on the ground, propped up by her elbows.

She closed her eyes and shoved the furry annoyance off her lap, standing up and rubbing the slobber off her face. Brushing her bangs out of her eyes, she met the gaze of a parka-clad boy.

"Was somebody scared of the little doggy?" He said in a baby voice, and then picking up the dog he gently patted his head, talking to it soothingly, embracing the hellhound, "it's okay, Akamaru, I'm sure Cruella didn't mean it,"

"Aw, how cute," Sakura scoffed sarcastically wanting nothing more than to pry the dog from the boy's hands and chuck it out of a third story window.

But not without reclaiming her big toe first.

The boy stood up and dusted himself off, extending his arm toward Sakura.

She didn't take it; she resigned to be silently judgmental away from the dog-boy.

The dog, clearly Akamaru, looked like he had somehow taught the boy his ways and the boy looked like he hadn't showered in months, perhaps years.

"Careful, Cruella, don't want to trip on your tail." He called after her, smirking maliciously.

"Bite Me," she whispered darkly to herself, sauntering away.

Still lost. Still, hopelessly lost. You can't forget hopelessly.

--SAKURA'S P.O.V.--

"I honestly don't know where I'm going," I confided in to the drunk janitor passed out on the floor, "I'm lost in my own school. And I'm missing the only field trip we'll have all year"

"That sounds like a personal problem to me,"

I looked up.

And the first thing I noticed was his eyes, like someone melted silver and poured it in to his eye sockets. Which sounds painful but the end results are so worth it.

"You, Sakura?"

Yes, me Sakura. And who might you be, Tarzan?

I nodded my head, managing to stand up on shaky legs. Brushing myself off, I smiled at him, a favor he did not return.

"Who are you?"

He cocked his head, "just follow me,"

"No. You know my name. It's only fair I know yours."

"Follow me," he said, his eyes flashing, his hand reaching out to get a grip on my wrist.

"Hell no! If you can't at least tell me your name than something isn't right," I tried to pry his hand off my wrist, but the effort was in vain, "you want to hide something from me and you wouldn't hide anything from anyone unless it was something bad,"

"Hyuuga. Hyuuga Neji. Satisfied?"

"Good." I nodded, "but why do you want me to follow you, Neji?" I considered biting his hand but who wants HIV? God knows who he could be sleeping around with.

"Just follow me," his voice was calm but his grip tightened.

"Something's not right"  
"Follow. Me."

His grip was getting tighter and more possessive.

"No! LET FUCKING GO OF MY WRIST, YOU HIV CARRYING BASTARD!!"

He didn't let go of my wrist.

And I felt I was already starting to lose circulation.

Nothing like a good bout of domestic violence to set the mood.

"Let go of my wrist," I cried, pushing him away from me as he was closing the space in-between us.

"Never," he whispered in my ear, his hot breath caressing my earlobe, sending shivers down my spine.

Then nothing.

Everything went black.

--

"Good job, Neji" Naruto whined from the front seat, to Neji who was driving, "now she's like dead," he said, pointing to the Sakura, who passed out, propped up on Gaara's lap.

"Unconscious," Neji corrected, turning the steering wheel.

"All you had to do was to tell her she'd be riding with us." Naruto complained.

"She was acting difficult," Neji, snorted, "it was getting dangerous,"

"She was afraid of Akamaru," Kiba smirked from the backseat buckling and unbuckling the seat belt lazily, "yet to you she was dangerous,"

"Yeah!" Naruto agreed, "you didn't have to make her faint. You could have just told her, you know."

"She would never have agreed to it."

"Then if she didn't agree to it, what would she have done to you, Hyuuga?" Kiba chuckled, "bite you?"

"Shut up," Neji said

"Are you afraid of her? Is that it?" Kiba laughed.

Naruto laughed, even Gaara had to smirk. Sasuke just sat there and brooded nicely in his corner of the car.

"I hope you've enjoyed your life so far, Inuzuka," Neji gritted his teeth.

--

When Sakura woke up she had no explanation as to what was happening to her. She was moving, and she was sitting on a breathing couch made of flesh and bones, and it must be a pretty special living couch because there was built-in seat belt- two long things that looked like arms encircled around her waist.

She opened her eyes fully and began to realize her surroundings.

A small car.

A small messy car.

A small messy car filled with boys.

A small messy station wagon filled with boys.

A small messy station wagon with two boys whom she did not know one boy whose dog savagely attacked her, one boy who kidnapped her, and one boy in which she was sitting on his lap.

And although she wasn't good at math she eventually figured it out. FIVE boys. Can someone break out the gold stars? We have a winner.

"What the hell is going on here?!" she looked around the car and found one.

She pointed at the Neji, "You! You kidnapped me and now you're going to hold me for ransom or sell me to some weird old man with a lot of cats!" she continued, "I'm so glad I didn't bite you because you're probably diseased, you sick fuck! You probably have HIV. I bet you have AIDs or hepatitis or syphilis or emo."

"Emo is not an STD." Sasuke said, irritably, glaring at her.**(NO OFFENSE TO EMO PEOPLE)**

"So you are all diseased! I'm going to die!" Sakura continued, yanking at her hair in frustration, "my first time away from home and I'm getting molested and have now I have AIDS. What am I going to tell mom? What will the neighboors think?" Sakura bit her fingernails, "High school student by day druggie preggie stripper whore by night."

"Calm down!" Neji commanded, from the steering wheel his eyes locked on hers, not paying any mind to the cars around him.

"KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE DAMN ROAD!!" Naruto shouted.

"I can never go back," Sakura said to know one in particular,

"What's wrong with you?" Kiba asked her, looking amused, "when I met you were all tact and venom and now you're acting like a spaz,"

Sakura looked him over, "Do I even know you?"

"Am I that easy to forget?" Kiba held up the small puppy hidden away in his shirt, "how flattering"

Her eyes widened considerably, "I know you! Exactly how far does this conspiracy go?!"

"It's not a conspiracy. You just missed the buses so you have to ride with us." Naruto motioned to around him "the delinquents, the dog obsessed one is Kiba, I'm-"

Sakura interrupted him, "You're Naruto, I know who most of you are," and it was true she did. All of them had their stories, reputations, good and bad, mostly bad. But point of fact, she knew them- everyone knew them. Little boys dressed up as them for Halloween. Fan girls wrote extremely smutty homosexual fanfiction about them. They were like movie stars that didn't make any movies or didn't accomplish anything spectacular in their life except raise a lot of hell.

Naruto grinned a little, "we sent Neji to tell you but he got carried away," Naruto glared at Neji.

"She was being difficult," Neji reminded everyone around him irritably.

"Oh," she said sheepishly, "I didn't know," she latched her head down, "sorry"

"Should be," Neji stated bluntly.

She glared.

"**You** almost killed _me_," she spat, "you should be sorry!"

"**We're** giving _you_ a ride, you should be thankful," Neji answered simply, his eyes on the road, but glancing in to the rearview mirror every so often to see the expression on the pink-haired girl's face.

Sakura gritted her teeth, "I'm ignoring you. But know this: one day when you're all alone and have no reason to live I'll be there to introduce you to the wonderful world of garden shears,"

"You're absolutely right, Hyuuga," Kiba chuckled, "if I were you I'd be afraid of her too,"

Sakura narrowed her eyes at the parka-clad boy, "and you! Where do you get off leaving your DAMN dog around so it can terrorize INNOCENT people?! Huh? Answer me that?!"

"Well, all work and no play makes Kiba a dull boy," he smirked.

"I'm pretty sure Kiba's always been a dull boy," Sakura snorted, leaning back.

"You're smashing my face," a voice behind her growled.

She turned around, fearing that for once in her life she was right. Because she was sitting on Gaara's lap and the "fleshy seatbelt around her waist" was his arms. His arms around her waist.

Gaara seemed like a nice enough person but Sakura, strangely enough liked to think that men who kill people were a little less attractive, personality wise than men who didn't.

Gaara probably killed people and Sakura thought that he might be overdoing it a little with the homicidal-badass thing. Just a little. Because maybe he ACTUALLY DID IN FACT KILL PEOPLE. You know? Like stabbing people. With a knife, waving it around like lead knife in the freaking knife parade.

"Sorry?"

"You should be," he whispered in her ear, one hand on the crook of her neck, a single finger daring to trail down as low as to her collarbone, sending her in to great shivers.

She gulped and nodded her head in agreement.

No one spoke.

"Why didn't you fight him like you fight with me?" Neji said flatly, clearly offended.

"You don't kill people," Naruto whispered.

--

"We're lost!!" Naruto moaned.

"No we're not!" Neji gritted his teeth stepping on the gas harder, out of frustration.

"Yes, we are!" Sakura argued, "why can't you freaking swallow your pride and ask someone for directions?!"

"Because we're not lost!" Neji argued back.

"Spoken like a man!! Why is it so hard to ask for directions?"

"You don't need directions when you're not lost."

"I swear, Sasuke, it's like he lives in his own world where he's God's gift to women everywhere and women live to serve him, ya know?" Sakura confided in to the Uchiha.

In the few hours Sakura had been in the car Sasuke had already been assigned as Sakura's designated target for bitching about Neji. Sasuke didn't particularly enjoy listening to her vent but it got to Neji. And to Sasuke that was all that mattered. Sakura, oblivious to Sasuke's disdain for her continued to talk. Neji glanced back at the girl, Sasuke looking as interested as his facial expressions would allow him and smirked as he caught the Hyuuga's stare.

Naturally, Neji was furious.

"We're not lost," Neji repeated between gritted teeth.

--Three hours later--

"We're lost," Neji finally admitted, pulling over and slamming the breaks.

"Oh really Neji? Because the rest of us noticed only like say, 100 miles previous to this!" Sakura shouted.

"We'll need some place to stay for the night," he said, lightly biting his lip, thinking.  
Sakura narrowed her eyes, "Is this how you get all your victims, Hyuuga? Drive them 100 miles away from home then rent a hotel room, boom! Dead girl in bathtub?!"

"How much money do we have all together?" Neji asked, ignoring the girl with extreme care. Answering her back is like being face to face with grizzly bear when you coincidentally happen to be holding a big-Mac.

"I know your tricks, Hyuuga. If I had my suitcase with me you'd so be maced by now." Sakura continued, no one listening to her in particular.

"We can get at least three rooms, maybe four if we're lucky,"

--

"One of you boys are going to have to be a man and let me have a room to myself," Sakura decided, seeing no other way out, "four rooms sleazy rooms, and two of you will have to share a room, suck it up and be a man"

Naruto eagerly raised his hand, "I'll be the bigger man and me and Sakura-chan can share a bed!"

Sakura smacked him on the head, "As fucking if!"

Sasuke, being a genius and all, quickly thought of a solution, "We'll draw straws."

With his obsidian eyes glining he pulled out of his pocket a handful of straws.

"Pick one" he said.

The rest of the group stared at him in awe.

"It's like he planned it all along," Naruto whispered.

"So prepared," Sakura mused.

"Bitch," muttered Kiba.

Gaara just kind of looked at the Uchiha with a strange inreadble look on his face. That was a mixture of somewhat amusement and annoyance.

"Yeah, yeah pick a straw," Neji said.

--

"Touch me-you die. Talk to me at night- you die. Oh yeah and if you hog the blanket you most definitely will die but other than that you should be fine," Sakura said grumpily.

"Should I not breathe in your presence either or is that okay?"

"I'd prefer if you wouldn't but if you have to, keep it to a bare minimum,"

He threw a shirt in her direction.

She picked the garment up between two fingers, "what do you want me to do with it? Wash it for you, your highness?"

"Never pegged you as one to sleep nude," he smirked.  
"I'd rather sleep in dirty clothes, thank you very much," she shot back; "keep your nasty thoughts to yourself. This is a school organized field trip, not Girls Gone Wild: Whore Island,"

He smirked, "Whatever you say, Haruno"

--

Sakura couldn't go to sleep. It's hard to go to sleep when there was a guy next to you and he happens to be a particularly sexy guy. A jackass, but nevertheless a guy. A honest to goodness living and breathing man.

And it's definitely hard to go to sleep if that guy sleeps very weird angle, that involves his palm on your chest and a leg brushing in-between your legs, his body at an angle that shows he's just about ready to roll over on yours, his legs practically straddling your own. And it's even harder to ignore him when he's warm. And you're cold.

--Saturday morning--

She stood calm and collected in front of the small rusty station wagon as he approached her.

"I thought I'd let you know that, when you're asleep you're a bigger pervert than when you're awake,"

He grinned cheekily, "And I thought I'd let you know I wasn't asleep," the Hyuuga cocked his head and watched with interest as the pink haired girl turned the brightest shade of red he had ever seen.

--End chapter--

NOLAN SAYS: Sweet Sassy molassy that was interesting to write. Reiko was dancing really weird to The Yeah Yeah Yeahs while we were writing it and it was very…distracting, I mean it was some good dancing on her part but seriously, I was trying to concentrate. I think that's why it came out...deranged. We're like a mother and daughter when we're together, I swear. I scream obscenities at her in Japanese and then she ignores me and plays her music really loud. I'm not still breast feeding her though.

ASIANONE SAYS//Deleting what Nolan just said from her memory// OH...GOD...Review if you'd like, for they will be answered in the beginning of the next chapter, flame if you want, because everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I got really tired of writing this after Sakura met Kiba and I thought after that it kind of fell apart, but I kept writing it for **MagenKyotenChiten**, because she's not feeling so great. I hope it cheered her up. I'm not feeling in a funny mood (my tummy feels funny but that's a different kind of funny). Plus, I don't think I'm very funny at all so I'm afraid this story is not worthy of being labeled humor. Maybe "bad attempt at humor" but not humor. I'm very angry right now because this story isn't coming out like I imagined...-sobs- these hands don't create! They can only DESTROY!

NOLAN SAYS: I'm taking away your pocky privilages.

ASIANONE SAYS: I hate you. You're horrible. The worst mother ever. If you weren't getting me anything for Christmas I'd kill you so dead you'd practically die to death.

NOLAN SAYS: Soka...


	2. Love is a fallacy

YOU MAKE ME RETHINK BEING BORN 

THE ASIAN ONE SAYS: Ehh Nolan's at college so I'm writing this by myself. I'm a little too lazy to answer the reviews but I'll try my best :D

**Mystic-Panda**: I'm updating! I'm updating! Please don't cry D:

**kunoichixakura**: Done! Enjoy :D

**the tomato**: Hahaha I have a friend named tomato. He's silly. So here's a new chapter…I hope it makes your day :D

**ohtorikaya**: I like yo' review very much as well! Thanks a lot! Enjoy this chapter, kthnks.

**milly**: thanks! I hope you enjoy this chapter! I made it myself :o

**hotneji20**:…um what? The fungus and that thing about…? O-O I didn't get that. Sorry D: but thanks for reviewing!

**Crimson.Kaze**: Arigatoo Gozaimasu! I'll try my best to make it perfect this time:D I really appreciate it.

**Saskura-Chan**:ooooooooooooooooooooooooo where were you all my life??! I miss your reviews! I haven't had one in forever. Goshhhh. Happy AsianOne :D

**x123456789p**: hmmm okay. Here's your update. Thank you very much and drop by again if you want :D

**starlit. Kiss7**: AWW! THANK YOU! That was a really nice review :) it's not often I'm told I'm an amazing writer. Here's the update you wanted :D

**rebel-girl**: umm prolly the end pairing will be NejiSaku. Cause it's my favorite. But if you see any reason why the pairing should be something otherwise and it's a good reason not, "ZOMG U SHULD DO SASUSAKU CUZ IT IZ LYKE DA BEST PAIRING EVARRRRR!" then ehh we'll see c: thanks for reviewing!

**Hakusho 14**: Okay!

**Ajiganachi**: Aww I'm sure if Neji was real he'd forgive you for…not reading more fanfictions starring him?! I don't know but thanks for reviewing :D

**Kunoichi Sabaku No Gaara**: wow. Long ass review. Um let's see it goes from Saturday because it's like a really long, detailed flash back. And well, everyone in my stories are kind of meant to be insane except Sakura so it makes the situation seem a more realistic in a way. I'm sorry I ruined Ten-ten for you. But I didn't think I could ruin her for anyone because she's just a filler character so I kind of molded her to fit in to one of Ino's junior skanks. Um I really don't know what else to say. Thanks for reviewing?!

**Emy-chan-tan-fan**: 0.o Please get help immediately. I love ya, girl but you really, really, really need to seek mental help. NOW. Thanks for being a sweetie…and for calling me a slut and threatening to rape me. That never happened to me up until this point in time O-O

**Claud-kun**: Gah! –huggles you to death- I haven't seen you review in like forever! I missed you! Hopefully this chapter is better.

**Ice Everlasting.**: Yes, Neji is a pervert. What else would he do with 360 vision? Psh…fighting. But he can't top Hinata. She is the true pervert. With her blushing and all…damn Hyuugas. Caged birds my ass.

**AtaraTheNinja**: Sankyu! I guess it's everyone's fantasy to be wanted by like every male in Naruto that's not old or creepy?!

**SeparatedCow**: When I thought about it, Akamaru is no longer the small puppy we all love! He is now as big as Clifford (yes, the big one). Even though I sooo love Akamaru small I think Imma have to suck it up because if Akamaru is big Sakura will have a helluva time trying to throw him out of a three story building.

**Amieku**: Hey lookie me! I'm continuing.

**Kyokyo101**: Hahahaha when you said all those 'pleases' I was so tempted to delete this story you have no idea. Yes, I'm a mean person. But not that mean because look: I'm continuing!

**The Perverted Hermit**: Yay! Seal of approval. Is it difficult to achieve this seal? Because if it isn't my life no longer has meaning! Then I'll have to become a hermit also! But of Hello Kitty.

StringxDolly: But then again your sister wouldn't put a knife to your throat and threaten to kill you if you didn't read Absolute Boyfriend and love it now would she? Nolan has a thing for Shojo manga and it's rotting my brain along with the fact that he has officially eaten all the pocky in our house ;-; thanks for reviewing :D 

**liz3392**: Isn't today your lucky day? I updated.

**frienz4ever**: Another lucky one…

**al2010**: And another…

**sakura5584**: Cute?! That's one way of looking at it. I've heard my stories were psycho and unique. Never cute. I LOVE YOU! I love the word cute for reasons I do not know.

Silent Kunoichi aka. Fiona: ZOMGWTF?! You didn't say PAMS:o Go you! 

**Crick118**: CRICK-SEMPAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think this officially makes you my ultimate reviewer. You have reviewed all my stories. I love you baby! I would give you pocky but my computer hard drive doesn't accept it!!

Sango17: Lalalalala means I looooooove you…Sankyu for reviewing :D 

**kaitou angel**: …I don't know what you're saying but AHHHH TAYLOR MY LUFF!!! Um don't blow up I luff you! I also love how you're like 'OMFG!! IF YOU DON'T UPDATE I'M GOING TO BLOW UP!'

Then it's all:

Sincerely, Kaitou angel

I love it.

**Valkyrie of the Rohirrim**: Ahahahahaha you said doode…Hahahahaha…ah…okay. Yeah I don't know what you're on but everyone in the world needs to be on it too! I'm not sure why every other line makes you nearly pee your pants (a bladder problem perhaps?) but I LOVE YOU FOR IT! If you're happy I'm happy. I GUESS THE Neji Sakura scene could be hotter but I'm 14 and I think that's as hot as it gets for now otherwise I'll have like a heat stroke and die a virgin because it's illegal to whack it when you're 14 so basically T.M.I

**jaded56**: Yes. Sakura is fucking crazy. Yes she is.

The Rogue Stallion: …I'm not on anything. AHAHAHAHAHA you said don't stop! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LIKE AS IN DON'T STOP WHEN…Oh god, I have to stop hanging around my brothers… 

**sasusaku-gaasaku4lyfe**: Thanks. You're kind of really fucking crazy if you're like Sakura in this story but as long as you don't come to my house and start going ape shit at me we cool :D I mean, that as a compliment! You flatter me with your over protectiveness of this story.

**blackrose4ever**: OMGOSH! OMGOSH! OMGOSH! It's you:dances: I haven't heard from you for a while either! But then again I haven't written anything SasuSaku in a while either.

**Ieya**: Gosh darn. I think you read in to my portrayals of Naruto characters more than I do. I just kind of write what I think I would like to read about and pray to sweet Jesus no one hates me for it. I love your reviews. They make me feel warm and fuzzy inside like I just ate a burrito. And I love burritos.

**WriterPoet**: When I read this review it made me feel philosophical. And I don't know why.

**ThePinkBunniesLeaders**: Japanese is the devil's language! Just kidding. But I think you're doing pretty well for yourself if you can read and write English and lead pink bunnies. ALERT THE PRESSES! That's amazing! My readers lead fascinating lives and still find time to read and review. My head is swelling to the size of like a large infant.

**Aly**: I congratulate you on your choice. It's very flattering you reviewed even though you read it before and stuff.

**Unknown: **You scare me in a way with your unknown-ness. It's like who is unknown?! But I don't know because they are not known. Thanks for your secret review…Is the story so bad you can't admit to the world that you read it –cries-

Just kidding . Thanks :D

**madwomans**: LOOK UPDATE! OVER THERE!

MagenKyotenChiten: Ummm I already knew about the Death Note Anime because for like five weeks before it came out on YouTube Nolan was going on and on about it because he has this Mello fetish of some kind and kept ranting about how it's going to take forever for him to appear on the anime and how he prays to God the voice actor will have the voice he imagined. Hope this week is much better. 

Haruno Miyabi:o MIYABIIIIIIIIII!

--

Now on to the chapter :D

--

Extensive scrutiny has brought me to the realization that being seriously fucked up is only a recent development. One I ultimately attribute to Neji.

I slapped Neji with as much power as my pre-coffee strength would allow.

"What was that for?" he glared at me, as he leaned against the car.

"For fun," I sniffed, crossing my arms over my shoulders and sticking my tongue out at him.

"Honestly, I have no idea what Naruto sees in you," Neji rolled his eyes as he picked imaginary pieces of lint off of his shirt, most likely, reminiscing about Naruto threatening to kill himself if he didn't get to share a room with me the night before.

"It might be my overwhelming beauty and dazzling charm," I supposed, fluffing my pink locks in a highly desirable fashion.

"If you ask me, I think it's considerably large amount of ramen he digested last night," Kiba sighed, dragging Naruto by his jacket behind him, "idiot,"

I shot him a glance. "This is why no one is asking you,"

Akamaru growled at me, backing up his owner, who rewarded him with a pat on the head.

I wrinkled my nose in disgust, "I thought I killed you,"

"If anyone killed that rat-dog, it would be me." Sasuke frowned, Gaara trailing behind him, both of them looking at the small dog with disdain.

Kiba cradled Akamaru protectively, "No one's killing my best friend!"

"I'm not making any promises," I huffed, getting in the front seat.

"Hey! That's my spot!" Kiba stumbled in to the car.

I snorted, "How about this?" I proposed. "You stand on one side of the car, I'll stand on the other, we both call it and we'll see who it comes to."

Kiba grimaced before smashing in to my lap.

"JESUS CHRIST! GET OFF OF ME!" I screamed.

"This is my seat," he whined, putting more weight on me.

"HOLY GOD. SERIOUSLY, WHAT DO YOU WEIGH, LIKE FIVE COWS?! WOULD IT _KILL_ YOU TO PUT DOWN THE FORK AND TAKE A LAP ONCE AND A WHILE?" my voice wasn't as loud as the first time but my lungs were getting more crushed by the second, "please get off," I finished weakly.

"What will you do for me?" he grinned, obviously enjoying this.

"Ewwwww, you're touching me!" I shrieked.

He smirked and nuzzled his face in to the crook of my neck, I could feel his shallow breathing on my neck.

I struggled to stretch my neck, trying desperately to avoid contact with any part of his face.

"You smell like heaven," he murmured in my ear dreamily making the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Making me realize that he wasn't really fat at all. Just much bigger than me. All muscle and bone. All muscle and bone on top of me. On top of Haruno Sakura. Haruno Sakura who has never even kissed a boy before.

"You can achieve the same scent by taking a bath every now and then," I gritted my teeth, pushing his face away, "AND I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING FOR YOU!"

"Well I guess I'm not getting off of you then, am I?" he chuckled, leaning his face much closer than what is anywhere near my comfort zone. He comes closer, yet again. It makes me conscious of his lips. And how soft they look. And how it might feel on mine. My face burned at the thought. Kiba smirked coming so close, just a centimeter between us.

Sasuke coughed, glaring at us. Looking disturbed and irritated, and maybe a little…jealous?

Just kidding. He's Uchiha Sasuke. He was just disturbed and irritated. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Get him off me! I pleaded with my eyes at him.

"Kiba, off." Sasuke nodded at me.

"You owe me," Kiba hissed at me, picking himself up off my lap.

I sneered at him, my face still feeling flushed and my forehead starting to feel sticky.

I bolted, grabbing Sasuke's hand and running in the opposite direction of everyone else, ignoring their exasperated voices calling after us.

The thing about Sasuke is that he never objects. He may grumble. He may glare and brood. But if you're going to put something in to action he'll go along with it. Sprinting all the way to the nearest Starbucks we stopped to rest outside of it.

"What the hell was that Haruno?" he didn't look as irritated as he was when Kiba jumped in to my lap but rather, amused.

I took a deep breath, feeling the urge to rant very strongly, "I hate all of them. ALL OF THEM. I HOPE THEY GET RUN OVER BY A BUS SO THAT THEY'RE BARELY HOLDING ON TO THEIR PATHETIC LIVES AND JUST WHEN THEY THINK THEY MIGHT MAKE IT THE SAMNE BUS BACKS UP OVER THEIR BODIES AND KILLS THEM JUST BECAUSE THE BUS DRIVER IS CURIOUS TO SEE WHAT HE/SHE HIT!" I sighed, a weak finish for such a vicious deliver.

I looked up, only to find Sasuke staring at me with an unusual expression spread across his face. A mixture between amusement and fear. Then a trade mark Sasuke smirk.

He cocked his head and reached out his arm to envelope my hand in his. He did it so naturally, it took me a second to notice that he was holding my hand in his. It felt so…right.

I lowered my head, feeling a blush creep its way across my cheeks, trusting Sasuke to lead me in the right direction and not in to something like a pole, which was probably what Naruto would have done. I let him lead me feeling nothing short of stupid as he did.

As soon as we sat down at the table I began to feel a tremendous amount of discomfort.

My eyes still lowered I sing-song-ed a quiet, "Aw-kward,"

I could feel his obsidian eyes focused on the top of my head. Quickly, I looked up, before fighting the urge to latch my head back down.

"High intensity ultraviolet," he nodded.

I raised an eyebrow.

"You too," I murmured back, dreamily, feeling lost in his presence.

He looked at me steadily before smirking uncontrollably.

"What are you talking about?" he shook his head from side to side slowly.

I shot him an apologetic look, "I thought it was a compliment about my hair. It's kind of a shade of violet."

He chuckled, a deep and comforting sound, "No," he tapped the counter, "the sun has high intensity ultraviolet rays and that's how people get skin cancer,"

Which is an incredibly romantic thing to say to a girl who you've got wrapped around your finger at the moment.

I gulped, feeling more insecure than ever, "neat,"

"Indeed," he mused, staring directly at me with an ever-present smirk playing upon his lips.

"um," I sputtered out intelligently, "thanks for saving me back there," I scratched the back of my head, "It won't happen again, at least I don't think," I laughed nervously, at the blank look on his face began to change in to something I didn't recognize, "crazy men and their dogs,"

"It better not happen again," he smirked, cocking his head, before continuing, "some people might get," he leaned closer so he could whisper in my ear, "jealous,"

"HARUNO!" The Hyuuga , appearing out of what seemed to be nowhere was more furious than I thought was possible, breaking away from the table I timidly stumbled behind him as he continued to scream at me until we were out of Starbucks and in to the metal death machine that was our car, all the while conveniently "forgetting" to yell at Sasuke as well, unconsciously reminding me how much of a nobody I was compared to the rest of them.

Hyuuga Neji enjoys taking long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, and taking serious chunks of my self-esteem out with an ice pick.

"And if you EVER try that shit again! I swear to God I will throw you out of the car while it is still moving, got it?" Neji finished, turning around to face me.

I rolled my eyes, "Yes, mom."

He narrowed his eyes, "Get in the car.", he opened his door, closed it with a slam before starting the car.

With much hesitation, I opened the car door and sat next to Gaara before we drove off.

He nodded at me, looking irritated at my tardiness.

"Sorry," I mumbled to him, "but to no one else except for you because you're quite scary and possibly homicidal and Sasuke because he's nice to me,"

Naruto looked at me with an incredulous look on his face, "WHAT?! WHAT ABOUT ME SAKURA-CHAN??!"

"No. You shut up!" I glared at him.

"Yeah! Shut up!" Kiba agreed, "finally the girl says something relatively intelligent."

I decided to let that one go and get some rest. Normally, I would kill him for less but since we were already miles away from any sort of town/hospital and I had that lovely conversation between Sasuke and I at Starbucks, since then it has already changed my values.

I'm a lover not a fighter.

I shrugged and let sleep claim my body as its own for about two seconds before in a magic monotone voice that my fifth grade music teacher particularly hated, Neji said,

"We're out of gas,"

"WHAT??!"

And with that the car slowly came to a complete stop.

"Hyuuga Neji," My voice deadly calm, "I'm going to kill you,"

--

THE ASIAN ONE SAYS: asdfghjkl;

Some NaruSaku and GaaSaku coming up soon I guess. I totally ignored them this chapter D:

Ehhh it was fun to write though. Review if you'd like :D

Replies next chapter!


	3. Stop these shenanigans!

**YOU MAKE ME RETHINK BEING BORN**

I have three dreams in life. One was to find someone who I loved unconditionally and who returned that love. The second was to watch Free Willy without crying. The third was to be able to stand up in a crowded and room and scream at the top of my lungs, 'stop these shenanigans!'

Today, my third dream comes true.

The car slowly rolled to a stop in the middle of abso-fucking-lutely nowhere. Of course, with our luck, it also conveniently stopped on an uphill slope. We all got out of the car to push for several minutes before stopping again.

"I have an announcement to make," I winced.

"That you've been holding us back this entire trip and the only reason why we're in this situation is because of your incompetence?" Neji kindly suggested.

"That you're hopelessly and irrevocably in love with me?" Naruto murmured dreamily.

"That local jargon makes you nauseous?" Sasuke added, whose tone was very vindictive for some reason.

"…Wait, what the fuck?" Kiba interjected, for the rest of us.

"I mean, I can't even watch Legally Blonde without several trips to the restroom." Sasuke mumbled, now focusing his eyes on the bumper of the car that he had been pushing.

"Um. Okay, no." I was now fiddling with my hair; the sudden air of awkwardness was upon all of us now.

"Alright, here's what we're going to do," Neji stood up straight, "We're going to split up,"

"Oh, great. And let me guess I'm stuck here in the middle of nowhere to fend for myself while you're off gallivanting with your buttbuddies," I paused for good measure before quietly adding, "no offense Gaara, you're totally not gay at all."

"I'm not either," Naruto winked.

"Furthermore, I reject whatever idea you had and form another one! Who's with me?" I grinned to see only Naruto staring just as enthusiastically back at me.

Neji snorted, "Good luck with that."

I crossed my arms defiantly, "I think we're going to be quite successful as my idea was to help your balls find a way back in to your colon," I smiled cheerfully.

"Very mature. I'm positive that will help us find a place to stay for the night, or food to eat, or protect us from the vicious wildlife in the early hours of the morning," Neji countered.

"That's why we have Gaara," I pouted.

"Gaara would kill you himself before he'd save you from a wild animal," Neji rolled his eyes. Damn those Iris-less globes.

"And I would kill you before Gaara would kill me!" I screamed.

"No one would have to die if you would just listen once in awhile," Kiba growled, Akamaru, barking in agreement.

Neji smirked, "Thank you, Kiba," he said smugly.

"RGGH. YOU FRUSTRATE ME." I shrieked.

Neji calmly ignored me, "We're going to split up, some will stay here and me and a group of others will try to find a gas station and come back to get the others."

"THAT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA!" I screamed, right about to pull out my hair, imagining my withered carcass being ripped apart by vultures while lions and various other large carnivorous mammals ravaged my intestines like a plate of spaghetti.

"I have to say, I wasn't a big fan of your plan, so if it's alright with you. Hell, even if it's not, we're just going to go with my plan" Neji smirked.

"He's right, Sakura-chan," Naruto bit his lip sympathetically, "We're going slower than a dead turtle with a broken leg."

Even Naruto wasn't on my side. This was getting bad.

"Very well," I shrugged.

Neji raised an eyebrow.

"But before you pick your team,"

Neji interrupted, "This isn't kickball, this is a matter of survival, idiot."

"Before you pick your team," I began again, "It would probably be wise if you knew that in 5 seconds," I paused and looked straight in to his bottomless eyes, "It's opposite day."

"What." Neji cocked his neck irritably.

"5…" I challenged.

"This is so childish. It's not opposite day," Neji argued.

"4, I pick Gaara," I sing-songed, pointing at Gaara who shrugged nonchalantly as a determined Naruto's face fell.

"Haruno, you need to grow up," Neji said between gritted teeth.

"3…" I smirked.

He rubbed his temples.

"2…

"I'll take Inuzuka." Neji snarled.

"You may have him gladly…1" I giggled.

"But I'm also taking Uchiha," Neji smirked.

"You can't take Sasuke! He's my favorite!" I pouted, "zero"

Glaring, I announced, "Gentlemen, it is now opposite day,"

"It is not opposite day," Neji growled.

"Right," I winked, "it's not opposite day,"

"Absolutely," Naruto piped up casually putting his arm around me, which I decide to let pass.

"You're so cute, I might just take you home," I chuckled.

Naruto did jazz hands in the air before pausing, "HEY!" Naruto realized.

Neji scoffed, "Well, we'll be leaving now,"

I smirked, "I don't think you mean you're not leaving. Unless you're not going by my plan,"

"I think that I am not going to give in to this stupid game," Neji rolled his eyes again.

I chuckled as menacingly as I could, "Really Neji? Is that not so?"

"Really."

"Really, really?" Naruto added

"Really, really, really?" Kiba smirked, Akamaru wagging his tail cheerfully in tow.

"I don't think you are either" I sing-songed.

"I will not leave whenever I goddamn want to. I don't care if it's not opposite day!" Neji snarled.

I raised an eyebrow triumphantly.

Even Gaara had to smirk.

"Fuck," Neji swore, walking off with Kiba and Sasuke behind him.

"Hello!" I called after them.

As I was about to turn around, a pair of arms found their way across my back and under my legs and in a swift motion, I am in Naruto's arms.

"Would you like to not kiss?" Naruto's eyes were serious and playful and icy blue. His arms were strong and warm. I never noticed anything spectacular about him until that moment. The way his fingers found a way to lace themselves between strands of my hair and his eyes. They never faltered.

His chest rose and fell rapidly; he was looking at my lips now.

My lungs filled up with air.

Exhale.

I could feel his breath on my face.

Exhale.

Breathe. Big breath this time.

Exhale.

"Stop," I blurted out, His face softens and I manage to wiggle out of his embrace.

"Yes," I straightened my clothes out, "I really would,"

Naruto's face fell and romantically followed up what would have been an almost-moment with, "I don't have to pee." While running to a bush.

Mid-facepalm, I feel Gaara's gaze harden on me. His eyes don't question but I feel like I have to explain myself, "He just hasn't been the same since the lobotomy," I sputtered, "I mean, gah…I don't know."

Gaara had not spoken all day. He sat the trunk of the car nonchalantly and stared at me, his shirt nowhere to be seen. I have nothing against people openly exposing their arm skin but when the naked trend is carried out over their entire body, that's when I have to draw the line.

"Gaara," I began, feeling my face begin to heat up, "What…didn't happen to your shirt?"

He scoffed, one hand running through his perfectly tousled red locks. The sweat from the sun's heat glistened on his lanky frame. His eyes were closed and he didn't bother to open them when he answered.

"Would you like me to not put it on?"

I swear, I could see the smirk playing on the corners of his lips.

"Yes!" I was gasping for air.

Gaara remained emotionless, taking his time to answer. After a pause which seemed like forever he muttered, "Is that so?"

"I mean, no! or, wait yes?"

He smirked.

"NO! wait, is it yes or no?" I searched his eyes for any sign of emotion, "yes?"

"Is it no? FUCK!"

He shrugged. He seemed to be getting closer. All too quickly he was at eye to eye with me, boring those jade eyes in to my own. Then, without warning, he pushed himself at me, gripping my arms just above my elbows, slamming me up against the car that was just inches behind me.

"Hey Gaara," I started calmly.

"Hm." He grunted, lazily

"I can't help but notice that you're pinning me to this car."

"I think you don't mean that I'm not pinning you to this car," His wicked lips curving in to a smirk.

"Gaara, I really don't think it's such a good idea to be playing that card on me right now." I warned.

His half-lidded eyes roamed my face before he settled his head in to the crook of my neck, his breath was hot and I couldn't help but feel dizzy.

"I have to disagree as well," He purred.

His long pale fingers inched slowly up my thigh, spread evenly so that his thumb rested on the bottom of my thigh and the other four fingers relaxed on my inner thigh. It was obvious that he took pleasure in the small jumps my skin made as he moved further up my leg.

"Would you like me to stop?" His eyes shining mischievously, his tongue found her neck to be quite…enjoyable. Quick flicks from his tongue caused my brain to turn in to mush, time to stop, and my lungs to collapse. The wetness slid over the crook of my neck and found its way up along my jaw. He nibbled a trail from my chin to her earlobe where he scraped it with his teeth.

"N-No…?"

"Good answer," he murmured in to my ear, "Because exactly three seconds ago, opposite day ended."

His half-lidded eyes lazily met mine, as my confused ones searched his for answers. And then his lips crashed in to mine. The kind of kiss you'd expect from someone like him would be rough and wet and the kind that makes your lips swollen and your chest achy. But this kiss was nothing like that. It was soft and probing and teasing. The kind of kiss that leaves you expecting another kiss to follow. The kind of kiss that all too often gets interrupted.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Naruto pried us apart. His tone a part surprised and a part hurt.

"WHY DID YOU KISS HIM?" His cerulean eyes harsh with disappointment, "YOU'RE TOUCHING HIM, WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING?!"

Gaara yanked my arm, bringing myself closer to his lanky half-naked frame, "For the record, Uzumaki we're _not_ touching, and," all too briefly smashing his lips on to mine, "we're _not_ kissing." Smirking, he turned to Naruto who looked about ready to explode.

"FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK!"

Then, a beacon of light opened in my brain, now's my chance; I thought to myself, It's now or never. Digging my nails in to my palms, I clear my throat.

"STOP THESE SHENANNIGANS!"

**The AsianOne says: **oh hey.


	4. Now introducing: Closet Talk

**YOU MAKE ME RETHINK BEING BORN**

The AsianOne says: I miss Naruto fandom and writing fanfiction. Admittedly, I've gone on such a long hiatus because truth be told, I haven't kept up with Naruto, much less any anime at all and have somewhat grown out of it. I still really like to write, so if that doesn't bother you feel free to enjoy this chapter. I should have been a little more considerate about all of this, but I just really didn't want to see this fandom end for me.

Naruto narrowed his eyes. All the warmth and playfulness fled his cool blue eyes as he poked a slender finger in to Gaara's chest.

"WHAT. THE. FUCK." His voice wavered before he raised it again, "THIS IS THE WORST FUCKING OPPOSITE DAY EVER"

"You mean best," I quietly corrected, forcing myself to look anywhere but meet his gaze.

Gaara cockily smirked, taking a confident step forward, ignoring the poking finger. He frowned when Naruto didn't move.

I felt myself taking several steps back, "I'm a little concerned," I told Gaara, "That you're about to commit assault."

They both ignored me, the tension in the air so thick you could cut it with a knife.

"This is not okay," I informed them, "This is, in fact, illegal. I will inform the proper authorities!"

In that instant, Gaara swung his arm in front of him and I fell to the ground and covered my face.

And now I know for certain that, in the face of assault, I will curl up on the ground and cover my face. In the face of overwhelming danger, I will curl up in a ball and cover my face. In the event of a zombie apocalypse, I would probably curl up on the ground and cover my face.

My survival skills are limitless.

And then…laughter. Loud, raucous laughter.

I peeked through my fingers and saw that Gaara's hand had not landed in a round fist in Naruto's face as I had expected. They were both, in fact, staring at me, unsure if they were supposed to continue with shenanigans or start laughing along with the other loud, raucous laughter that emanated from none other than Hyuuga Neji who was laughing emphatically, bent over so far, his long chocolate locks pooled at the ground.

"I thought he was going to hit Naruto," I shouted, "Stop laughing! Stop laughing right now!"

Gaara rolled his eyes, "I wasn't even facing you, idiot."

Naruto scratched his head good naturedly, "I know it's opposite and everything but wow, that's dedication."

I felt my face burning as blush spread across my cheeks.

"That was really, truly adorable" Naruto assured me.

"Not really what I was going for," I grumbled.

"Were you going for incompetent coward? Because you nailed that," Neji managed to get out between shrieks of laughter.

As I was about to sassily retort, Neji put a finger to his lips, "Uh-uh, Not today, Haruno. I've found us a place to stay, so let's get a move on."

"Oh." My face went blank. I wasn't about to give any credit or praise to the man who saved my life and Naruto's for his own self-admiration then led me to believe he was in favor of Gaara being a psychopathic assailant.

"Why aren't you thanking me?" He called, leading the way, "I'm not hearing admiration in your voice."

"DEAR GOD!" I shouted suddenly.

He whirled around to look at me, slightly startled.

"YOU HAVE TRULY SAVED THE WORLD!" I continued. "AND ALL OF THE PEOPLE IN IT! We shall make a holiday in your honor and it shall last a full calendar year! We will drink and be merry and carve statues in your honor knowing full well that they could never truly capture your brilliance! WE ARE UNWORTHY!"

He studied my face carefully, "Well, I know where you're sleeping tonight."

The motel Neji had found was shabby, but at least we all had our own rooms. It wasn't long at all before I found my eyelids drooping and I was falling in to a deep sleep…

Hours later, I had awoken, half conscious in bed enjoying the body heat radiating through the covers. Smiling dreamily I snuggled in the sheets for a moment- just before I realized it.

"OH WHAT THE FU-" I raised my arm in self-defense, which in turn, an alarmed half-naked Kiba grabbed and pushed me off the bed in harsh annoyance.

"ASSUALT!"

"RAPE!" Kiba shrieked back

"I'm not even raping you!"

"You are with your eyes! I can tell!"

"Get out of my room, you freak!"

"But Akamaru peed in mine." He pouted.

I tried my best to look angry and drew a little inspiration from Godzilla, by far the angriest radioactive amphibian I know.

"That would be a good excuse for anyone else, but you roll in your own piss all the time." I deadpanned.

Kiba hunched his shoulders in defeat, dragging his feet across the carpet. I could hear Akamaru in the next room, barking in agreement.

"OH MY GOD SAKURA ARE YOU ALRIGHT? I HEARD SCREAMING! I CAME AS SOON AS I COULD!"

"Well, I just woke up next to a strange dog person, but things can only improve, right?" I groggily answered, "I think I just need a glass of water or something."

Naruto looked concerned, "Let me get it for you"

I smiled weakly, "Thanks."

It was then I decided a little fresh air couldn't hurt either.

Wrong idea.

Within seconds, in the darkness someone had jostled my elbow.

"Watch it," I spat, trying to sound more irritated than scared.

No response.

Damn these worthless night vision-less eyes.

Not a moment too soon, a hand was covering my mouth and I was being hauled off on the broad shoulders of an unknown criminal in to a supply closet.

Such events were becoming the norm, I almost felt bored with it.

The closet is a place of peace. A neutral state where two opposing sides can voice their opinions without threat of gouging or pummeling. Mostly because gouging in the closet's small perimeter is just as likely to end in the painfully insertion of a phalange into the assailant's eyeball as it is to injure the intended victim.

This justifies me pressed up against Neji in a tiny crawlspace.

We simply required a Switzerland and the nation's closest counterpart is located in The shabby motel's hall.

No Freudian interpretation of unfulfilled lusts. We're not reading into this. We're dropping it.

"So," I laughed nervously.

"…" Neji nodded.

You've heard of small talk and pillow talk but I'm about to introduce you to closet talk. Neji and I are forging an entirely new genre of colloquial speech. This type of development begins slowly, awkwardly, and anxiously. Yes, the palpable tension in our particular scenario stems not from the growing sexual tension and unresolved issues between two hormone-crazed coeds, but from the parameters of closet talk.

"We're in a closet." Neji fidgeted.

I nodded again.

He cleared his throat.

"Neji I have enough terrifying, rabid, and ultimately hostile scenarios dancing through my head about ripping your head off without your suggestions. I will ask you this once more, why are we in this closet?"

His eyes flickered from side to side. He only did that when he was thinking. "I just needed to talk to you in private," he said softly.

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Neji," I used my mom's voice from when she caught me vandalizing the dining room wall with a crayon. I was sixteen.

"…I don't want you to be around Naruto or Gaara okay?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Why does it matter?" My voice took a serpent like quality as I hissed out each syllable.

"It's annoying," he sniffled, "I mean, don't you find it demeaning or something like that? You can't possibly tell me with a straight face, that you don't notice the way they look at you."

I wrinkled my nose, half in amusement, half in annoyance, "Oh fuck off, mom"

He visibly stiffened softly biting his lower lip; he lifted my chin with his thumb and index finger.

I could feel his breath on my lips, "That wasn't very nice."

I fought the heat rising to my cheeks, "Maybe I'm not a very nice girl."

He half-smirked, "That's doubtful."

I forced my eyes to tear away from him, in an effort to appear nonchalant, "Just tell me what you wanted to talk about already, goddamit"

And he didn't miss a beat.

"I want you to kiss me."


End file.
